Holiday Query: What do you buy the attorney who has no time for you?

It's the holiday season!  It's that special time of year when partners are frantically trying to threaten, cajole, or bribe clients into paying their bills.  It's that special time of the year when associates spend hours - if not days - conjuring billable hours out of whole cloth.

It's that time of year when lawyers get drunk at Christmas parties and sleep with secretaries or paralegals.  It's the time when associates who prize job security make notes about, or take pictures of, temerarious partners and their Christmas-party antics. 

It's the time of year when big-law widows drink too much, buy holiday presents for themselves, sleep with their personal trainer, and track down some recently divorced ex-college-beaux.

The holiday season can be stressful.  That is particularly true for the widows who must find a gift their big-law-attorney spouse.  Such gift buying can become a horrible experience since the widows no longer know their spouses very well, share no common interests with their spouses, the attorney-spouses have no hobbies or interests that are not law related, and in the last year the widows spent more quality time with their pedicurists than they did with their attorney-spouses.

But fear not; help is out there.  Courtesy of The Billable Hour, the perfect gift for that big-firm attorney on your list is only a mouse click away: